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This Story has Everything But Ninjas!

Written by  jfizzle
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LOVE LOVE Jessica Lohmeier

The Story of Us

Whenever wedding planning begins, one of the most common questions asked to the couple is "How did you meet?" This is our answer:

HER VERSION: January 28th, 2003. It was my first day at a new job. The trainer wanted us to do an “ice breaker” activity to, well, break the ice. We each had a food item written on a note card and had to walk around the room asking yes or no questions of each other to determine what item we were and who our match was. Eventually I figured out that I was spaghetti and had to go find my meatball. He found me first.

We worked together for 6 months until he found that the job wasn’t for him and then went and got deployed to Iraq. I went on with my own misadventures. Mostly that means I partied a lot.

January 28th, 2005. I was buying a car. My sister Holly called to tell me there was a message on her machine for me from some guy named Clint.

“Did he say meatball?”

“No” she said “he said Clint. Clint Blakely? Bakey? Blakey! That’s it! Clint Blakey. Do you know him? He said he’s in town and wants to catch up. Here’s his number… Dude, meatball? Your friends are weird.”

That was the beginning.

Since then, life has taken us from one side of the country to the other and back again. In the last few years we have earned several titles for each other; from co-worker to best friend, lover, missing person, clint-napper, and partner.

I look forward adding “husband” to that list and seeing how it all ends.


HIS VERSION: I bought her 5 margaritas. We went back to her place.

The End


The above is what we wrote for our wedding website. All of it is true, but the interesting part picks up right after “His Version”

Clint did buy me 5 Margaritas and it’s possible we did go back to my place.

He ended up staying the next day, and the day after, and the day after that. Nine days we spent together- eating pizza, drinking wine, saying “I Love You” after just a few days.

Clint had actually come back to Oregon to get all his personal items so he could move back home to Savannah, Georgia. He had just returned from Iraq and felt that his time was up in the northwest and he needed the support his family could offer. His intent was to gather everything his friend Gene had been holding for him and drive back in the car he had left in Beaverton. He only planned to stay in Oregon for a week or two and was in touch with his family every few days.

Until our date.

Clint left his cell at Gene’s house and what he didn’t think about was what his family back home would think when he stopped returning their calls.

This set a chain of events into motion that involved law enforcement on both sides of the country.

For us, the time we spent was amazing and to this day a frozen Totino’s Pizza holds special meaning. We lived in pajamas and watched movies. After a few days I realized I had to go back work. I was sad. I saw this as the end to our “date” and back to reality.

I hated that job.

Clint saw that I was sad and asked my why. I told him I hated my job and that it made me miserable.

His response was “Why are you going back if you hate it so much?”

I thought for moment and responded “I’m not! Problem solved. Wanna rent a movie?”

I’m pretty sure we saw “Kingdom of Heaven”. (Two thumbs down)

The next day we talked more about his road trip back to Georgia.  He asked me to come with him. I saw this as an adventure and since I had never been to the east coast a 5+ day road trip sounded like fun. It’s not like I had a job anymore.

Rent? What? Bills? BAH!

I agreed to go and he agreed to make sure I would have a plane ticket home after we got there.

Neither of us had told our family about our plans (or my lack of job). We continued our adventures and I took him to meet my friends and my Mom.

This puts us at day 5 of our “date”.

On the other side of the country his mother is calling his phone only to receive voicemail. His sister called. His brothers called. Only voicemail. They are starting to worry because it’s not like him to not answer his phone for days at a time.

Finally his mother calls the only other number she had in Oregon which was that of an old friend and roommate. (Code for bitter ex-girlfriend)

“Sugar have you seen Clint? I can’t seem to reach him.”

The instigator’s response was, “Nope. I heard he was back. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gene killed him and stuffed him in the trunk of his own car. I think Clint still has a t-shirt of mine I want back.”

I feel I must describe/defend the character of my southern gentleman at this point in the story. He is a middle child of 5 and a mamma’s boy through and through. They all are. It’s a tight family unit that most people would be jealous to be part of and any threat, real or implied, is taken seriously.

This comment caused Mamma Blakey to panic and call her other children. They rallied together and as it turns out someone had a friend who had friend that was a Chatham County Policy officer (in Savannah) that so happened to know a Washington County (Beaverton) police officer.

He made a call.

Washington County listened to the story of the good ‘ole boy soldier just home from the war, off to collect his belongings so he could come home to his mamma for some pecan pie. Only to disappear.

The officer began to investigate. They went to see his friend Gene. The last place he had been. The officer questioned Gene and he told him what he knew.

“He left with a girl he used to work with a few days ago. I haven’t seen him, but he left his stuff here. I’m sure he’ll be back. I’m not worried. I plan on giving him a high five when he comes back.”

The officer asked Gene if the thought Clint had gone AWOL. As a member of the military and close friend, Gene was offended by the accusation and thus became less cooperative. The officers continued to follow up with Gene on a daily basis and track his movements; At this point they are considering Gene to be prime suspect in Clint’s disappearance.

They tracked Clint’s ATM purchases to a 7-11. (We needed more wine and pizza) When they reviewed the video surveillance, he was with a female (me).They were able to use that video and compare it with the DMV records which gave them my information.

The detective went to my apartment and knocked on the door. We must have gone on a pizza run. He then went to the apartment manager and told her to get the keys and that they would be coming back with a warrant to enter.

The officer went to my last known address which was my mother’s house.

My mother answered the door to a detective asking for Clint.  We had dinner with her the night before but it wasn’t clicking with her as anything important until he asked her about me.  “Now you got my attention” she says.  My mother and I are very close and she had no reason to think that I was in any trouble or anything. Also, you don’t want to mess with my mom.

The officer eventually told her he was looking for Clint, explained that he was considered a “missing person”, and that his family was very worried about him. She gave the detective my address and offered to go with him.

Day 9

At this point we are enjoying a leisurely afternoon. I had just gotten out of the shower when Clint informed me that my mother was at the door, so I told him to let her in. She smiled at Clint and then asked to see me in private.

I can still remember her grabbing me by the arm, dragging me into the bedroom and dramatically throwing herself against the door.

“The cops are looking for him!”

“WHAT?!?! WHY?” I yelled.

“He’s a missing person!” she responded.

I threw open the door. “I told you to call your mother! It’s been 9 days and now you are a missing person!”

Two seconds later there was pounding at my door. I quickly dressed in jeans and a jacket since I was just out the shower, and my mother let the detective and sheriff into my house.

“Ma’am is there anyone else here?” the mean looking sheriff asks me.

“Umm… My cat is the bedroom. Please don’t shoot him.”

“Do you have any weapons here?”

“No.” I say quietly, all the while giving me new boyfriend the stink eye.

“Do you have your ID?”

“Ummm….. Not on me. It’s my room with my cat. Do you need it?”

“No just sit there and be quiet.”

“Ok…….” Stink eye intensifies.

The detective comes in and looks at Clint. “Are you Clint?”

“Yes sir I am. Is everything ok?”

“Well son, a lot of people have been looking for you. Can you use my phone and call your mother please? Keep it short, it’s a county phone.”

Clint called his mother. She cried. Then she threatened him. His father did too. He called his sister. She cried. Then she threatened him. His brother did same. He spent the next hour making calls to as many people in Georgia as he could. I heard him say “I’m sorry” more times in that hour than I have in the six years since.

I eventually told my mother I quit my job and on our road trip to Georgia I dropped the bombshell on her that I planned to sell everything I owned so I could move there to be with Clint.

Once we arrived, Clint took it upon himself to introduce me to all his friends. All of which had heard about his possible murder. He was slapped a by few angry southern women. I laughed. It was like a scene from Steel Magnolias.

I laughed until he introduced me as the reason he went missing. He introduced me as the CLINT-NAPPER!

It took a few months but eventually Oregon and Georgia forgave us.

We moved back to Oregon in 2008. Bought our home in 2009 and will wed on 9.10.11.

Last modified on Wednesday, 18 May 2011 10:01
More in this category: « Baked With Love


+7 # melissa allen 2011-05-15 16:54
Ummm...yeah:0 So we totally thought he had been "Clint-napped" no joke. All of the friends and family were super worried, but look how things worked out for the best. Congrats you guys:)
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+7 # Lyra 2011-05-15 21:54
I love this story. I am so glad you guys found each other, you are awesome together.
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+6 # hdwm 2011-05-17 13:06
Very lovely story! Thank you for sharing!
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+5 # Bob 2011-05-19 10:07
I love this story!!!
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+3 # MSmith 2011-08-06 19:24
By far the best story ever!
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+3 # Jessie 2011-10-24 18:19
This is one of the best and most original stories I have ever read. I almost don't believe it! I can see this being made into a sitcom. You are an amazing writer and I wish you years of happiness with your husband. :lol:
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+3 # javeac 2012-02-14 11:42
It's good one. haha. That's awesome!
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