One Small Decision

Written by  laurenrebecca
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This picture is of me and my boyfriend, Ty, not long after we first met. I came across it the other day and it got me thinking. I thought about how strange it is that one decision, one small decision, can effect our entire lives. If I think about it long enough, it tends to make me indecisive in the choices I make in life. However, I believe that there is something out there looking over us. I mean, how can things just happen? For example; my story.

Two years ago, I was in a completely different place than I am today. I was in a 12 year relationship that was sinking, to say the least. It was a love-hate relationship that was down more than up. Out of respect for my ex, I will not go into details on how or what, but I will say that we were on different pages in life. I wanted a family and one-on-one life style, and he wanted the "girls next door" life style. I had tried many times to work things out with him. It always seemed to fail. I started to drown. I held a smile on my face, but underneath my oversized shades, there was anguish in my eyes. For a great while, I continued on my crazy life style thinking this was what was in store for me. My mother kept telling me I needed to get out and that she prayed for me everyday. She wanted better for me. I never was much of a cryer. To release my emotions that seemed to keep bottling up, I would do two things; write and jog. I wrote fiercely and I jogged intensely.


I, also, started to escape from my world by looking else where. I would party with other guy friends. They gave me undivided attention that I, so greatly, wanted. But even the company of other men didn't seem to satisfy me. They all seemed to be looking for just a fling and I was not interested in that, at all.

Some might say, "Why didn't you just break up with your boyfriend, if you weren't happy?" I did break up with him on numerous occasions. But love is blind. He was my first. I just wanted more from him. I guess you would have to know the WHOLE story to understand. Once again, out of respect and privacy of others, I am keeping that part to myself.

I remember one night at a random party, I was talking to 3 different guys who were trying immensely to impress me. I wasn't listening at all, nor was I impressed. I was standing there nodding my head thinking, 'What am I doing here?'. As I glanced up, I saw a face of someone in the distance. He looked kind and had a half smile on his face. He never tried to talk to me. He was gone just as quickly as I saw him. Why couldn't I meet someone like him?

Nights of random parties and useless texts to guys continued. It didn't seem there was anyone out there who I was interested in, anyhow. I might as well just stay where I was, right? So I did. I remember I would talk through a social network to this one guy. He was so nice and never crossed the line by asking for my number or a date. He was interested in truly knowing who I was. Unfortunately, his profile picture was him with a helmet on his head. I don't mean to be superficial, but there is usually a reason if you don't want to put a headshot on your profile. Either I had the good looking, egotistical guys hitting on me or the computer nerds at home trying to cyber chat with me. My luck. I didn't care, I kept chatting with this kind soul who listened to my story of pity. It was truly nice to meet a stranger that actually cared. We texted each other daily. But that even ended when he asked me to go to my favorite restaurant, a place I had raved about in earlier conversations. I didn't want to lead him on so I stopped writing and I ended most of the texts.

About a month later, I was sitting in my living room when I saw someone walking their dog by my house. I looked out the window, curiously, to see the most handsome guy I had ever seen walking his dog by. Well, his dog was mostly walking him. I ran into him again when I was driving home from work one day. I was pulling into my drive way and he was passing by. We both looked at each other. I had the whole "slow motion" effect happen. I felt like that moment lasted 10 minutes or more. I remember imagining what it would be like to be with him. What a silly thing to do, right? Imagine yourself with a total stranger? But I did. There was something in his eyes that made me curious. Something that gave me hope. This stranger gave me the idea to give my boyfriend an ultimatum.

I decided that my boyfriend had to choose. It was me or this life style. As much as it hurt me to hurt others, I had to put myself first for once in my life. I made it clear that this wasn't like the times before. If he didn't choose, than I was done. I would walk away. Surprise, surprise. He didn't choose. That was my answer, I had to leave. I had to find a way to uproot my life that I had lived for nearly half of my life and do something different. But how?

It was this question that I pondered one afternoon. I made a small decision to think it over while I went for a jog. How was I going to get out? I had no savings, I had no one to share a place with me, and I had no where to go. I felt stuck. As I rounded the corner, I saw two guys jogging towards me. As they got closer, I realized it was the attractive guy who walked his dog by my house. He was jogging with a friend. I felt myself get a little flustered. That was unlike me. He slowed down and I did as well. Was he going to talk to me???

He asked how I was as if he knew me. I was courteous. Then he said something that made me go pale in the face. He said, "We'll have to go to that Mexican Restaurant you like so much sometime." I probably stood staring at him for a moment. Everything hit me like a gigantic memory surge. He was the hot guy walking by my house, the guy I was texting for more than a month, the caring guy I saw on my social network with a helmet and the mysterious guy, smiling, at the party. I nodded and agreed, "Yeah, we should do that sometime."

After saying bye, we jogged our separate ways. I jogged the whole way home flabbergasted. I couldn't believe that this guy had been surrounding my life and I was oblivious to it! I kept saying in my head, 'please text me soon, please text me soon!' The moment I reached my door, I felt my phone vibrate. I had a text. It read, "Want to go to that restaurant now?" I quickly typed back "Yes, meet you in an hour".
I had dinner with him that evening in my favorite restaurant. He was quiet and listened to all my chatter. It was the best time I had in a long time. He knew my whole story. He knew about my strange relationship and all my dreams and passions because I had wrote them to him in messages online. He didn't judge me. He was the most genuine person I have ever met. I told him that I was in a relationship, as he knew, so we could only be friends. He obliged and never once tried to ever so much as touch me. He was content in just being with me and talking to me. I knew it from the moment I met him, I was falling in love with him.


My boyfriend at home started to realize that I wasn't around as much anymore. I think he was starting to realize that I wasn't kidding this time. We had arguments. They never led anywhere. He still wouldn't choose me. I was sneaking around with this other guy. I felt like I was cheating even though I wasn't. I was living in the house physically, but emotionally...I was gone. And we both knew it. After all the years of trying, he had lost me.

The most memorable night of all, was the night at the beach. The beach was our local meeting spot. The place where we would secretly meet, where no one knew us. It was an August summer night and the air was so warm. We were down on the sand just lying next to each other. At this point, we were, still, nothing but friends. The chemistry between us was so hot it was burning, yet, we laid there on the sand inches away, not touching each other. We talked for awhile. I was still amazed that this man had not tried to even hold my hand. It was the biggest turn on of my life. He respected that I had told him we were just friends. I had had enough. I couldn't stop the way I felt anymore. I took his hand. He said to me as he took my hand willingly, "You are gonna get me in trouble." I replied, "You already are." I looked over at him. He leaned over and kissed me. It was the best thing I had ever tasted. He was amazing!

After that, we knew what would happen. It was like pieces of the puzzle started to fall into place. One day, I came home from work and my ex was gone. I found out later, he had moved out and in with my best friend. I forgive them both and wish them the best. From there, I moved in with my sister and I started my new life. On September 11, 2009, one month after our dinner together, Ty officially asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. It has been happily ever after, ever since.

The unique part of this story is, Ty tells me he knew from the moment he met me that I was the one for him. He says, it was his mother, up in heaven, (RIP Cindy 2005) looking out for him. He says, his mother answered my mothers prayers by bringing us together. That melts my heart every time I think of it. What a strange world it is. Every little thing can change or alter your life dramatically. If I hadn't gone jogging that day, would I be with him now? I will never know.

But I do know that, somehow, I ended up with this caring, thoughtful, romantic, easy-going, loving and amazing man that I love so deeply. He has shown me true love and treated me better than I ever could have dreamt of. If I could make a list of everything I want in a man, he is every single one of those things and more. He has given me everything I have ever wanted. He also led me to our beautiful baby girl, Scarlett. How lucky I am? Now you tell me, coincidence? I doubt it...

Read more stories of us at www.laurenrebecca.com

Last modified on Monday, 13 February 2012 09:29
laurenrebecca

comments 

 
+1 # BlueTie 2012-02-13 10:35
Love this! You guys are too cute!
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+2 # javeac 2012-02-14 11:27
Love reading this long story! You are very lucky!
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